Wednesday 13 May 2009

Benson's Story


Hello :) I am sharing my story in hopes that the 90% Abortion Rate in babies with Down Syndrome will shoot WAY DOWN. I think you'll find my story very interesting and worth reading... The day before my wedding, we found out that I had Thyroid Cancer. They wanted to do an emergency surgery the next day (in which i talked them into waiting till after my honeymoon.) I had surgery where the Surgeon, Dr. Archibald removed my entire thyroid. We waited a month and did a full body scan where they found that the cancer had spread to my left lung (4 large tumors). So I had to do radiation treatments over and over. I remember the Doctor asking me if I was allergic to anything... I looked at him and screamed, "YES! CANCER!!" He laughed so hard! It took a lot of stress off me, Dan, and the Doctor. :) I'll tell you what... Even with being sick and weak all the time, being on a yucky diet, loosing hair and my eye lashes, etc... the hardest part about having cancer was that we weren't able to have children and start our family. We soon found out that due to this cancer, we would have only a 5% chance of ever getting pregnant. So we went on living our lives the best we could. I remember Praying to the Lord, begging him for a child. I said, "If you just give me a baby, I will teach him the gospel plan better than anything." Come one year after becoming cancer free, December 12, 2008, I got a call from my Dr. after having my yearly check up stating that everything looks good and... I'm PREGNANT! I cannot explain the JOY in my heart and soul. At first I did not believe the Dr. I screamed and jumped up and down crying with happiness beyond belief. Little did I know, it would be HIM (my baby) teaching ME!! The pregnancy went very well and I got all the blood tests done to check for Birth defects, etc. Everything showed up healthy and normal. (No Birth defects such as Down Syndrome, etc.) My due date was August 17, 08. Little did I know, my son would choose to be born 3 weeks early. July 31, 08 Benson David McKenzie was born into this world. All my life I expected the Dr. to put my BABY ON MY CHEST right after he was born (for the whole bonding moment.) Well, that didn't happen and I was so confused as to WHY the Dr. would not give me my baby right away. Now I know... He didn't hand him to me right away because he noticed that my baby boy may have Down Syndrome and the natural reaction for a Mother would be disappointment and the bonding moment on the chest would turn to the mother REJECTING her child. (Subconsciously.) If only the Dr. would have known that It was DIFFERENT in my situation. All I wanted was my baby. I did not feel shame or disappointment at all. I just wanted to hold the 5% miracle baby I had just carried for almost 9 months. 20 minutes later, I got to hold him! Aww, I was so relieved. Yes, I was concerned about him having Down Syndrome in the way that I hope his health will be alright and he'd be as healthy as possible. But he HAS Down Syndrome, he ISN'T Down Syndrome. He is a Human being and a perfect one at that, a part of our little family. He was born with a hole in his heart and was on Oxygen for the first 6 months of life. He is doing great and is so happy and full of life. I think he's only cried about 5 times in his entire 9 months of life! I got lucky with that ha ha! I'll tell you what, these past 9 months have been the most wonderful, rewarding, and growing experience of my entire life! I am truly the most blessed Mother on this whole earth! I wouldn't have Benson any other way. There is definitely a DIFFERENT spirit about those who have Down Syndrome. Every person I've seen with DS is the happiest, most loving human being on this earth. This world NEEDS more people like them. If we were all like them, this world would be PERFECT. Everyone would love each other, be as innocent as a child, and there would be no sin or contention among us. Hey, that sounds like HEAVEN. That right there tells us all that they are perfect human beings sent here to help and test US. We as parents don't need to feel shame if we have a child with DS. We should feel BLESSED if anything! There is nothing wrong with you if you have a child with DS. If anything, there is something AMAZING about you. The Lord CHOSE and trusted you, that very baby CHOSE YOU to be his or her parent. It is truly a gift. One day, about 2 years ago, five months before I became pregnant, I went to one of my church meetings, and there happened to be a neat program that day... A whole choir full of people with disabilities (or as I would say, DIFFERENTLY-ABLED :) sang on the stand. The songs of course weren't the average sounding sounds we like to hear, they were BETTER. SO SWEET, I cried the whole meeting and fell completely in love with all people with special needs. Right then and there, I turned to my Mom and my husband and said, "I feel like the Lord would GIVE me a child like them because of how much I love them and the Lord knows how much I would take care of them." Little did I know, I was RIGHT!" :) Hey! I had a dream 3 days in a row that my next child is a girl and she has Down Syndrome. I wonder if that is true because lately, everything has been happening like that. Boy would I be overjoyed if it were true.I want to share a little story of when I was 14 years old. That was 11 years ago... I went to Mutual (a young woman's organization in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.) We went to a house that was full of people with disabilities. (Mostly DS.) All of a sudden, everyone was gathering around the piano and I heard someone yell out, "Come listen to Steve, he's going to play the piano!" Steve was a 40 year old Man with Down Syndrome. We all gathered closely and awaited the sweet piano playing. (Speaking of ASSUMPTIONS...) I was very much assuming I'd be hearing something that of a 4 year old child playing on the piano. Boy was I wrong! This man started playing a song called, "COLD AS ICE." by Foriegner. It sounded PERFECTLY AMAZING. That isn't the best part... He started to SING it... The room was SILENT (except for the sacred piano playing and Steve's voice.) His voice was loud and strong and sounded as normal as normal could be. He actually sounded just like the actual singer who wrote it. I bawled my head off. It touched me more deeply than anything I had ever felt in my entire life. I loved that Man, wanted to KEEP him, and would never forget him. What an inspiration. My Dad Gordon and his Japanese wife Terumi have a child with DS (Ty) or in Japanese, TyCHAN.
This is a picture of TyCHAN and his twin sister.

He is so cute and funny and of course always happy. Why WOULDN'T we want such a happy soul living in our world, or better, in our HOMES right there with us!? Some people aren't lucky enough to even be able to HAVE children. Let us give these children with Down Syndrome a chance. Give YOURSELF a chance! A chance to feel the amazing blessings that come from having a child with Down Syndrome. If we're too selfish or stressed, whatever it may be, to give birth to and keep our Down Syndrome children, the least we could do is have the baby and give it up for adoption. There is an LDS Adoption Agency that is amazing and you get to PICK who the parents of your child will be. If you google LDS Family Services, you should find it, otherwise ask me and I'll get you more information. Don't MURDER them by abortion. There is a 90% abortion rate, or should I say 90% Murder rate for Babies with Down Syndrome. It makes me sick to my stomach and I hope we can all do something to help change that rate. Heck, I'll even adopt the baby from you and you can know for a surety that the child will be very well taken care of and have the best life you could imagine! Please have a heart and try to have faith that it WOULD be a blessing to have and keep your child, or at least let them be a part of this world with another family who WANTS a baby that maybe wasn't able to have children. If you are in this circumstance and would like to adopt your baby out, please contact me and I'll either adopt he or she from you or find an amazing home for your sweet, perfect baby... Thanks for taking the time to read this
- Blessed Mother of a Baby boy with Down Syndrome - Judy Murdock McKenzie EMAIL: JudyLou22@hotmail.com